A sorority sister asked me to do a post addressing rushing the Panhellenic system, as recruitment season is in full swing! To all those rushing or on the sister side this year - good luck!
I headed into my freshman year of college thinking that all Greeks did was party and that I wanted to be part of none of that. Little did I know, four years later, most of my greatest college memories would come from my sorority experience.
In actuality, the partying seen on television is really only a small slice of what Greeks do. Yes, of course, there are some Greek members who tend to party more than the rest, and they shine through (honestly, that is true of college students as a whole). In my experience, I had plenty of Greek friends who rarely partied, and definitely still felt they really had a fulfilled sorority experience.
What to Expect
At most schools, sororities actually have quite a few requirements from their respective university: academic seminars, risk management seminars, and GPA requirements, just to name a few. Additionally, the Panehellenic Council will organize events regularly to bring sororities together to do activities such as volunteering in the community or raise money for a philanthropic foundation. The specific chapter of your sorority will organize events ranging from academic study hours, career-specific speakers, social events, sister events (such as movie nights, shopping events, trips to ice cream shops, etc), and philanthropic events. These events are numerous - the best thing to do is get a hold of the calendar - I'm sure most chapters have some form of electronic calendar - and put everything down in your planner {side note…you will need a planner in college}. Don't try to go to everything (it's impossible, I tried); pick what sounds best to you, and get ready to make new friends! Making friends is scary, especially when the majority of the house already knows each other. But you will definitely make some of the best friends so it is absolutely worth it. You will almost always make a new friend or get to know a sister better by attending an event. If your chapter is lucky enough to have a chapter house that provides meals to all members, make sure to go for a meal at least twice a week. Free food is the most obvious reason, but there is no time like dinner time or lunch time to get to know your sisters. Say hi to someone new across the table, or sit down next to someone you don't know and strike up a conversation. Sounds scary, but that is how you will make the most of your experience and get to know the most people. And honestly, you're prepping yourself to be a member in sorority rush - better to practice now than later :) . At the end of 4 years of talking to and getting to know a million people, and job interviews come around, you will have no fear. You will be able to talk to brick walls. You will be able to talk to someone and within five minutes know a great deal about them and what kind of person they are. Life skills my friends, life skills.
What You Can Get Out of It
I was really involved in my sorority. From my sophomore year, I was involved in Executive Board of the house - first chapter president and then Panhellenic delegate (kind of backwards, I know) - and for three years of my four college years I lived in my sorority house. Living in the house and being on executive board I always knew what was going on, and I made sure to volunteer for just about everything I could manage time for (but seriously, remember you're in school too, if you forget, you might just get kicked out of the house).
I met some of the most amazing women, and women I would have never met otherwise. My sorority sisters majored in diverse areas from engineering, business, political science, pre-med, theater, and fine art. Their diverse interests opened my eyes to new things that I would have never encountered in my undergraduate time. For example, one sister majored in occupational therapy, an area of medicine I, and most other people, have never heard of. I watched other sisters build building models and program computer applications - things I would not even think to touch in college.
Their personal interests, too, spanned all across the board. And yet, we all {for the most part, as well as +/- 120 people can} got along, because we had a common personality trait that attracted us to our specific chapter. Sure, there were disagreements and fights, but at the end of the day, I had an amazing network of diverse, interesting, and loyal women to fall back on. I took some of the greatest personal leaps in my college career because I knew I had a supportive net to fall back on. Without a doubt, I am who I am today because of my sorority. I am extremely proud of who I am, and my sorority gave me the space and medium to develop myself into the person I am today.
And this network in college? It doesn't stop there. As a post-grad, many women are still seriously involved in their sorority, both on a local and a national level. That great group of women that you loved in college? Multiply that number by about 1, 000. Moving to a new place? Find your local alumnae chapter - instant new group of friends. Looking for advice on where to move in that new city? Ask the local alumnae chapter or your LinkedIn/Facebook Alum group. Need help finding a job? Ask the alumnae group. And if you are a sorority alumna, and you aren't involved in some way with your local alumnae chapter, you're really missing out on some great networking opportunities.
Academic Worries
There was always someone to help me study for a test, listen to my presentation, make sure I looked okay for an interview, or sit with me in class. I think because of this, Greek women actually tend to do better academically. It is in the best interest of the chapter to make sure all of its members succeed academically - they are required to by the University. And the sorority comes up with some pretty good punishments - failing a class? Cool, no more social events for you. Sounds mean? Somewhat, but your sorority really just cares about you. If you were failing a class would your mom let you go out on a Thursday night? Probably not.
My chapter also had a great incentive program that recognized girls with exceptional GPAs, and usually gave them some small reward such as a Starbucks card or pack of highlighters. Sounds lame now, but I guarantee if you don't make it into the GPA cutoff for the rewards, you're going to go home and study so you get a Starbucks card next semester.
Rush
It is really not nearly as bad as most people say (both on the sister side and on the rushing side). It's usually really hot outside, everyone is stressed about starting school and making time for rush at the same time, and then all the girls gossip (which is probably the worst part). Probably 99% of rumors circulating around the break rooms and in the rush groups about houses are totally not true. Where people make them up, I have no idea, and they come up with some really crazy ones.
At some schools, sororities are colloquially "ranked" as to the "best house" - to this I also say ridiculousness. Each sorority will have a personality trait that most members will share, and this is what will draw you to one house or another; the ranking should not. Rush events go by so fast that it may be hard to tell what house you will fit in; go with your instincts. If you feel like you had a great conversation with someone at a house, and then someone in your rush group tells you to doubt that, ignore them. You have to spend the next four years with all the girls in your house - make the house the best decision for YOU. At some bigger schools where sorority chapters have big houses, you may be required to live in the house for at least a year - do you want to live with some people who someone in your rush group and you haven't seen since told you were cool? I'm going to guess not. Pick the best people for you, and you won't be sorry.
And if you are worried about going through on the sister side, don't worry. It's hard the first year because it is new. The second and third years are difficult too because of the sheer exhaustion of rush, but it is 100x easier being on the sister side - at the end of the day, you are already in a great sorority that you have chosen for you, and you are already surrounded by wonderful people. And also, as I said before, I guarantee that the skills you learn to use during rush to have real conversations with people will certainly come in handy in the future.
For those of you going through rush the first time this year, best of luck!! Be yourself, I cannot say that enough. Show your true colors and you will find where you belong. And keep in mind, sorority life is not for everyone. Some people don't like to meet new people all the time (which certainly pushed me out of my comfort zone at first), attend events, help the community, or make expansive networks. And that's fine. But I honestly think everyone has something to gain from a Greek experience.
-E.M. :)
Labels: small talk
